Confessions of a Twin Mom

There are Confessions of a Teen Age Drama Queen and Confessions of a Shopaholic so why not Confessions of a Twin Mom....LOL. Actually this isn’t my idea; I have been committed to reading online forums for support/information for a few years now. It started w/ general trying to conceive boards which evolved to infertility boards and then to pregnancy boards (I used to day dream about the day I could belong to a pregnancy board) and then finally the parenting boards. It’s a great way for me to gain insight from other real women who have been there done that. One of my favorite boards is Twinstuff.com I like the board because all the mom's on there have twins or higher order multiples. One thing I like to do is read ahead so I know what is coming i.e. when I was still pregnant w/ the twins I would read the First Year board so I could read about what all the mom's w/ newborn twins were experiencing and now that our babies are 9 months old I stumbled over to the Second Year board to see what all those mom's were up to and read about the challenges of having 1 year old twins. I find challenges easier to deal with when I am prepared for what’s to come :-). Anyway, there was a thread on the Second Year board all about "confessions" I found this thread mostly humorous and really comforting to know that all those things I do that make me feel like a horrible mother are actually more normal than horrible...nothing like reading about other people’s 'dirt' to make yourself feel better LOL. Some of the post I did find kind of sad and it does make me realize that just like anything else in life ATTITUDE is everything especially when it comes to mothering your children. It appears that those w/ negative feelings towards parenting their twins have a harder time dealing w/ the challenges and the day in and day out struggles than those who have an easier time embracing their rolls. Not that this is a new observation it is just something that stood out like a flashing red light as I was reading through hundreds of 'confessions'. It was a little disheartening to me to find that mom's in the 1-2 year old age group sounds just as overwhelmed as those of us still in the first year. I had great hopes for the second year to be easier. OK now for confession time. I figured if I was going to read everyone else’s confessions it would be only fair for me to create my own list. The funny ones that were pretty common on the thread that are true for me as well...
1. Yes, I don’t even think about washing their hands before I feed them...not sure why this didn’t occur to me
2. Yes, I pick food up off the floor and feed it to them, otherwise we would throw more food away that they actually eat. We do follow the 5 second rule (that makes it better right) and I don’t allow our dogs in the kitchen so our floors should be fairly clean right???? Anything to make this sound better.
3. Yes, I will leave them in their cribs in the morning if they are happy and playing to get an extra 5 minutes of sleep but I will get up as soon as they start fussing.
4. Yes, there are days I wish I was working instead of at home w/ them...sometimes I just feel someone else would do a much better job at playing w/ them and interacting w/ them.
5. I never saw myself as a Stay At Home Mom and even as I write that I don’t really identify w/it...I kind of feel like this is temporary for me, but.......at the same time when it really comes down to it I WANT to be home w/ them and I can’t imagine not being the one taking care of them every day. Even though there are moments and even days (sometimes) that I really wish to be working when it comes down to it I really LOVE being home w/ them and would not trade this time I have had w/ them for anything
6. I question every decision I make for them and everything I do. I wonder if I am unknowingly going to cause some kind of long term damage that they are going to be in therapy for as adults LOL.
7. I don’t have a favorite (some mom's actually admitted to having a favorite). I honestly do not. This was a huge fear I had when I was pregnant and am so relieved to be able to say that there isn’t a favorite
8. I think my babies are the cutest babies EVER!!!! Even though I know every other mom would argue this point w/ me, I can accept that but it doesn’t stop me from thinking it :-)
9. I didn’t feel that instant motherly connection that everyone always talks about...you know those overwhelming feelings of love that make you sob just thinking about your babies. I seriously thought something was wrong with me until I started sharing this w/ other mom's and realized that it just doesn’t happen that way for everyone. Those feelings came and now I can’t think of them w/o gushing buckets of tears because I love them so much.
10. I am afraid that I am going to be so over protective of them that they are not going to be able to experience real life.
11. The idea that they are going to have to learn hard lessons throughout their lives makes me want to put them in a bubble (my poor kids).
12. I can’t wait for them to talk so I can know what they are thinking and feeling (yes I realize I may want to take this one back one day LOL)
13. I didn’t enjoy the newborn stage...I never understood what everyone was talking about when they would say how fun it was to cuddle their babies when they are so small...and then it occurred to me...I didn’t get to cuddle my babies because there was always another one to take care of.
14. I envied moms of singletons for the longest time. I LOVE both Evan and Taryn and would not trade either one of them for anything but I wished I could have enjoyed them one at a time and really bonded w/ them separately. I feel like they were cheated of that special one on one time singleton babies get w/ their moms. Sometimes I still wonder if they get ALL they really need from me.
15. I hate the attention having twins brings. I never make eye contact in public w/ anyone so they don’t feel compelled to talk to us and ask a gazillion questions. When I notice people pointing and smiling at the babies I pretend I don’t see them so I don’t have to talk to them.