6w4d: First Ultrasound

If to the average person a picture is worth a thousand words, then it's worth billions to an IVF couple's when it comes to the first ultrasound. It was like "first-day-of-school jitters" for us all day as we waited with elated anticipation for our appointment at Dr. Sekhar's office. It was our first ultrasound, and 3pm couldn't come fast enough to quench the butterflies in our stomachs. Three blood tests and three HPTs had given us proof of the miracle we so longed and prayed for...but there is nothing like getting visual proof of what numbers are trying to tell you. The baby's first picture is a huge day...and at almost 7wks, there was every real chance of also being able to see the heartbeat; which would be a reassuring little beacon of hope and joy. For the icing on the cake, the first picture would allow us to complete the "HCG-guessing game" and know for sure whether we had a singleton or doublets. Gosh, saying it was a big day might be the understatement of the year thus far!

I was able to scurry away from work early to get home and pick Gena up so we could avoid having to take separate cars. We arrived on time, and waited 20-25 minutes to be seen.

The nurse got things setup and a tech came in to get Gena's blood pressure taken. A short time later, Dr. Shekar entered; happy to see us, he asked a few questions about our cycle with Shady Grove and the blood test results. The moments of anticipation built as he got the ultrasound machine setup. I smiled at Gena, and had the chance to glimpse at the monitor first before he turned it toward her...

I think we both knew it right away...though Gena probably won by a few split seconds because I was ensuring in my mind that we were not looking at the ovary this time (seen lots of ovary ultrasounds over the past year, let me tell you!) Our eyes conversed in affirmation with each other as Dr. Sekhar told us there were two sacks and congratulated us on our TWINS!! :-)

The next 3-5 minutes or so were simply like some fairly-tale miracle land as we looked a little closer at "Twin A" and Twin B"...both of them measured out at 5.6mm, making their estimated gestational age at 6w2d, which was right on track....guess the "I'm taller....nuh uh....I'm taller" feuds will have to wait until the next ultrasound :-) "There's cardiac activity in both," he said...music to our ears; and we watched him zoom in to each little angel...sure as can be, there were each of their little hearts just a beatin' away for God. I think there might have been a quick and small (and I mean small) waive of the arm-bud and tail as if to say "we love you mom and dad and we're gonna grow up strong!" Two angels...two heartbeats...each only a quarter of an inch in size....miracles in every single way! We couldn't stop smiling...and neither could Doc or our nurse tech. We had a quick wrap-up meeting in Dr. Sekhar's office, and then headed to the front to checkout. The nursing staff congratulated us on our pregnancy when they saw Dr. Sekhar's notes for the next appt; almost just seconds thereafter, one of the nurses came to the front area and added to the congratulations, and let the two other nurses know that we were having TWINS :-) We rode cloud-1000 out of the clinic and headed off to Olive Garden because the children were craving salad and breadsticks.

It's all still sinking in...it's not very often you have a miracle in your life and right in front of your eyes. People classify lots of things as "miracles.".....but this one is from God, and it's way beyond words....it's an all-caps and boldprint MIRACLE. We've got TWO tinyTUTTs.... doublets ... Twutts. :-) Praise you o'Lord...children are truly a gift from God, and we embrace our two little angels so eager to meet, care, love, and parent them....all for your glory and purpose.

OMG.....can you believe it.......we're having TWINS!!!!!!! :-)

Beta #3

Today is Thursday Aug 14 and should be my final blood test....I sure hope so...I am tired of getting stuck every other day...it is bad enough that I still have to get a huge shot in my bum every night before bed :-). Anyway today is 24 days past egg retrieval and the magic number was 18346 which is a 54 hr doubling time but still good my Dr. is very happy with it so I guess for now everything continues to progress as normally. Today I got my order to have an early ultra sound. The standard is to have the first one at 8 weeks so I am not sure if my dr. here is going to agree to do one at 6 weeks as Shady Grove is requesting but I sure hope so...I really want to see our baby and to see that everything is on track.

More to come....

Beta #2

Today is Tuesday Aug 12 and I had my 2nd HCG blood test. Chad and I had spent the weekend in Nashville celebrating anniversary #5 and our incredible blessing that we are still beaming over. Today's test was a little nerve wracking waiting to get the number back as I had mentioned previously doubling rates are important in indicating if the pregnancy is healthy or may have some issues. Not that it is 100% but if you have good doubling rates it is a good indication that things are progressing as they should. So I went in w/ a number in mind that I wanted to see my HCG come back at...my magic number was 9000-10000. Today's number at 21 days past egg retrieval came back at 9957, so I guess I am a good guesser :-). I am so relieved to see this number and feel like things are so far so good :-)

Got word back from Shady Grove and they want me to do one more blood test in a couple days so I guess I will go back on Thurs for test #3

Beta #1

Ok today Thursday Aug 7th was the day I was to get my first blood test to confirm I was/was not pregnant. Shady Grove will not got off of home pregnancy test as a matter of fact they discourage their patients from taking them. Yea right, like anyone is going to wait for the blood test :-).

So I had to go in for my HCG Beta blood test. The clinic looks at your total number of HCG or and their doubling rates to help them determine health of the pregnancy early on. The standard doubling rate they are looking for is for your numbers to double every 48-72 hours. Obviously in order to measure doubling rates you have to have more then 1 test done....so I will have 2-3, depending on what they decide they want. I think most dr. like to see HCG levels above 100 at the first blood draw but anything over 5 is considered a positive pregnancy test. We have spent a lot of time on http://www.betabase.info/ learning about average HCG levels for respective days of pregnancy, just so we would have some idea of how to gage my numbers when we got them back.

So for today which I am 17 days past egg retrieval or ovulation (however you want to look at it) my number was 1697.

Holy Smokes!!!! could that be right the average for today for a singleton is 292 and for twins is 580...I called Chad immediately and told him we may need to prepare ourselves for more then one. Of course it could just be one very healthy baby which would be perfect too.

So I guess I am definitely pregnant....I can hardly believe it!!!!!!

MIRACLE Moment...HPT says BFP!!!

A morning like this....just has to be told from each point of view!...

Chad's PERSPECTIVE:

If you've ever been awoken by a tug on the shoulder, the 20/bazillion visual acuity-because-you're-tired sight of your spouse standing at your bedside, and the sound of them gasping for air, then you'd have a good feel for how my morning went today. It was 0703, and the dream I was having of pattering footsteps headed my direction were brought to life as I was awakened by Gena shaking my shoulder and saying "Lovie"...I sprung to wakeness, startled at the site of my wife standing at the side of my bed gasping. But it sure did not take long for sheer panic to turn to sheer amazement on my part...my brain worked overtime to compile and comprehend the audible words that my ears detected. On probably what was the third time she had said it (sure felt like a ton more), I was finally able to hear two very beautiful words that I don't think anyone on this planet could every appreciate more: "It's positive". While there was no question what "it's" and "positive" referred to, the HPT she held in her right hand was the clear evidence of the miracle that was unfolding this morning. I jumped out of bed and held my Gena tight. I was truly at a loss for words as my heart and mind were just overflowing with emotions and thoughts! It IS positive!!! Praise you, O'Lord...that you would bless us. There they were...two lines on the HPT...and ours was now darker than the control line. Three years of what I would call the most difficult journey in life had blossomed into a future who's joy and blessing and I cannot even comprehend. The rest of the day was simply a whirlwind of beautiful emotions and thoughts...and going back to look at that HPT at least 50 more times just to see it again :-) In this moment, I just know that it was ALL God...because nothing of the feelings of this day were tangibly confined...to say it was surreal is the understatement of the year! When God works a miracle, as He has done this day, awe and majesty define the moment. I recalled the image of Monica, our nurse at Shady Grove, breathing on her knuckles and polishing them on her shoulder as she stated that these embies were going to stay this time. Goose bumps and chills covered me as I thought about hearing the words "Daddy's Home"...once just a dream, it is now just some amount of time away. It was the best....and I mean the BEST wake up ever!! Gosh, what a day....what a moment....what a blessing. I have to go hug my Gena again and glance at the HPT one more time :-)

Gena's PERSPECTIVE:

I am not sure I will be as eloquent w/ my words as Chad but I will try. Chad and I had a long discussion the night before about whether or not I would test in the morning. The truth is I could have test a couple days ago but I was too scared and really, really did not want to see another negative test...so as the discussion went on it was determined that Chad really wanted me to test and I reasoned waiting a couple more days would not make another negative result any easier to swallow so I might as well get it over with. So we went to bed that night knowing I would test when I woke up in the morning. I woke up first at 0500 and thought it was too early and I could wait a couple more hours for disappointing news so I turned over and when back to sleep. I woke a 2ND time at 0700 and laid there for a minuet to think about it, do I want to test now or should I wake up a little more and then test closer to 0800...after a few seconds I thought let me get this over with, that way I can get back in bed and be sad and have time to digest it before Chad wakes up and I have to break the news to him as well. So I got up and took the HPT when I was done I laid it on the bathroom sink as I washed my hands...I looked down and there it was, 2 pink lines....something I had longed to see so many times but never did. I could hardly believe it. I immediately started gasping and crying the same time. I am sure I sprinted down the hall towards Chad who was sleeping so peacefully at that time. I did pause for half a second and think that maybe I should not wake him but before I could even finish my thought I was tapping him on the shoulder. Poor guy it took him a second to figure out what was going on but when he did his smile was so big and we were both so overwhelmed with these feelings that we were not sure would ever come our way. It was definitely one of the happiest days of my life. I feel so blessed beyond words. "Thank You Jesus....for the awesomeness of your love and blessings. We love you and honor you and thank you everyday for choosing us. "

TWO TUTTsicles

It's Monday, 29 Jul, and we just got an amazing email from our Shady Grove Nurse, Monica. We had left 5 embryos in the care of the lab after transfer to see if they could make it to the Day 5 blastocyst stage and thus be eligible for cryopreservation; we did not have any that made it to Day 5 when we cycled with Walter Reed...but because we had a least one more Grade-1 embryo at transfer day (beyond the two that we transferred), we were cautiously optimistic that we would have embryos to freeze from this cycle...which would be both a blessing and an amazing thing. Well, the email said that TWO tiny-Tutts had made it to Day 5 as blastocysts, and that they were being cryopreserved so that we could go pick them up from "Day Care" in the future (maybe a 1.5 to 2 yrs from now, with the hope that our current embryos keep us reproductively occupied for the next 9 months.) :-) That was awesome news and sparked the hope that we are still holding onto for the two that we have on board to give us a positive pregnancy. For if two could make it to Day 5 in lab conditions, then our two must be able to make it because they are in the best place they can be.

So with our Brembyos and Sisbyos "chillin" :-) in DC for a while, we remain ever (and a bit more now) hopeful that this cycle is going to bring an angel (or two) of His to our family. Our Beta test is still 11 days away, so we are just enjoying being back at home and trying to keep our minds and days occupied until we can get the thumbs-up or thumbs-down. We're riding along upon the prayers of so many...can't even fathom what it would feel like to actually find out that we're pregnant. God has an amazing way of working miracles....and "no" is often our misinterpretation of His saying "not right yet."....but there is a time for everything, and He knows what is best...we sure are listening for Baby Bells to ring!!

Back Home...Hoping and Praying

It is 2215 on Sunday, Jul 28, and we arrived safely back to Kathleen, GA after a total of 12 hours in travel (that 1 hour break at Red Robin was great!!) We are thankful for safe miles on the road and now are settling back in to our homestead. It's quiet here, as Nash and Teebo are still staying at Arlene's...we'll pick those two little bubbas up tomorrow afternoon and I am sure they will be happy to see us!

Now back at home, we enter what is without a doubt one of the toughest and most difficult times in this process....the 2-week wait. For millions of people, this wait is simply disguised by the daily event of life and only garners notice when the wife is "late". But for us and our fellow fertility-challenged couples, it is an agonizing time of wondering whether "it worked" or not. In IVF, there is no guessing as to whether fertilization was successful or whether there are little embryos present in the body with the potential to implant....."successful" cycles are completed that way. It's a time when knowledge is not necessarily power or "positive", because there is up to two weeks where positive represents a dream or miracle far more often than it represents a couple's state of mind or feelings. It's a time when you hope and pray that good indications translate into positive signs; it's a time when you are reminded once again that it's a God thing...there is nothing we or any person of medicine can do to make it happen....collectively, we simply do our best and trust that God will take care of the rest according to the plan He has for us. While faith and trust our very powerful entities, they are also very testing in times like these...when the answers you so long for seem so far away; the reality is that this "waiting game" culminates with a test that will make a miracle or break a hope....it can amaze two lives or just as quickly shatter two hearts. We simply hope like Jeremiah that an angel of His needs is entrusted to our care...a husband and a wife yearning to be a Mom and a Dad.

Shady Grove does things a little different with the Beta (blood pregnancy test) than Walter Reed does in that they wait longer; so it will be on day 18 this time around rather than day 14 (as it was with WR). There is always the option of an HPT (home pregnancy test) earlier than the Beta, but that carries it's own tough emotions and reality. So according to the calendar, the Beta for this cycle will be on Friday, 8 Aug (the day before our 5th wedding anniversary :-) ) What an extra-special gift that would be...it would be the best ever!

Day 14: Heading Home w/ B.O.B

The RX is loaded and the Red Robin in NC is loaded into the Garmin GPS as we pull out of Silver Spring this morning. It was an awesome stay in that little metropolis just north of DC. Our time seemed to go by fast; and in actuality, it did and should have in the sense that we spent less calendar days up in DC for this cycle with Shady Grove than we did in January with Walter Reed.

It'll be an 11-hour trek home and we'll be stopping at the halfway point for some good food (and more french fries) :-) at Red Robin. We've got Babies on Board...and pray so much that they will stay around this time. We have so many people praying for us, many of which we do not even know. We missed out on getting a picture of the embies before transfer as we were able to at Walter Reed...so we're just resolved, then, that they will have to implant and be born so we can see what they look like!

Shady Grove was simply an amazing experience from start to finish...their staff and facilities are exceptional and their patient care was second to none. There is no doubt that it was the right step for us...even up to the penny, which God perfectly provided for us to be able to even do the Shared Risk program with them. This is truly a journey of faith and trust...and we know that this doesn't happen except by the hand and power of God. We truly have done our best and we humbly let the results be up to God. Our prayer is simply for the opportunity to raise and provide for an angel of His that is part Chad and part Gena. We are praying for nothing short of a miracle...one which has every chance of beautifully blossoming into reality because God is in control.

Day 13: Vandzuras, Golf and Grover

Today was a great day...the four of us got to sleep in then enjoy one final day in DC before we headed back to GA....so we spent it with Spark and Gena. The vowel sisters (that's G"e"na and G"i"na) did some shopping while Spark, his son Zach, and I went to ProGolf to hit some golf balls. It was a fun time out there on the range, and I played under Gina's profile so it was funny when it would hit a good shot and the machine would reply "Great shot, Gina." Just how great did she do....well, second highest score for the day. I don't know if they will invite me back to play, but we had a great time out there; Zach can hit the ball really well, and Spark makes it look effortless and smooth as butter!

Walter, our build-a-bear monkey was our mascot from our last IVF cycle with Walter Reed. This time, Gena brought back a Giraffe to commemorate our trip for this cycle, as we had seen an equally cute giraffe in Pottery Barn kids while we were browsing in there. We've named him Grover (after Shady Grove), and he's holding down the fort in the nursery with Walter...awaiting the arrival of the twinz.

Our Saturday finished up with some quick packing and then relaxing, as we readied for the 11-hour drive home. It's an eerily-odd feeling, as we've left an IVF clinic before feeling as though things went awesome and that it could finally be "the time."...we can only pray and hope that this time is different!

Day 12: The Melting Pot

With the twinz on board, the calorie coefficient has increased at least a little bit. So what better way to try to fulfill that than to go to a great restaurant that you've never been to before...and that's exactly what we did in meeting Spark and Gina for dinner at the Melting Pot in downtown DC. Other than one cheese fondue that Gena made at home, we have not really been immersed into the fondu dining style as a full meal...but we were more than willing to give it a fair try :-)

Our waitress was a rookie in its fullest meaning, but aside from that it was a great time and experience. We had the "Big Night Out" special, which allowed us to pick our appetizer, main course and dessert; and it also included a salad. We started with some awesome Caribbean cheese fondue, which came with bread, veggies, and granny smith apple piece dippers. Then it was on to a tropical salad. Our Fondue Fusion main course was awesome and consisted of: Lobster Tail; Filet Mignon; Jerk-seasoned Sirloin; Vanilla Rum Chicken; Zesty Shrimp; Pork Tenderloin; and veggies. After packing all of that scrumptious food down; it was on to the finale... and a finale it was: COOKIES AND CREAM MARSHMALLOW DREAM fondue. This was dark chocolate, topped with marshmallow cream, flambee'd, and then topped with Oreo cookies....oh yeah, and we got brownies, rice crispy treats, strawberries, pound cake, marshmallows, and chocolate covered marshmallows to dip into it! It was heaven in a pot :-)

What a great time being out with Spark and Gina and what a great meal at the Melting Pot. We'll definitely seek one out in Atlanta, and definitely recommend it if there is one in your area. Two thumbs up for the fantastic fondue!