99 Days and Counting

We are officially down to double digits as today marked 99 days (or less) and counting until the babies will enter this world, I just hope it isn't too much less :-). I know our ticker above reads more days but that is counting down to our official due date of April 13...however, our dr. says we will deliver no later then 38 weeks which is 30 March making it less then 100 days until our precious babies join our family. Sometimes that seems so far away and sometimes it seems just around the corner. I am still very much enjoying this pregnancy and trying to relish every moment of it as it may be the only one. I love feeling the babies move and kick...this entire experience has been such a blessing. Sometimes I cant help but look back and note how far we have come, especially as Christmas approaches. Last year at this time Chad and I were in NM skiing w/ the Tuttle family and having a really great time but for me all I could think about is what was to come in the upcoming year and more specifically in January. Once we returned home from NM we only had about a week until we packed the car and headed to DC for IVF #1 and we had so much hope and excitement for that cycle and unfortunately it did not quite turn out the way we had prayed for. Now looking back I still remember the total and complete devastation it was, truly one of the hardest things we have gone through...my heart was so broken and it did not feel as if the nightmare was ever going to end. I was so desperately seeking a way that I could move past my devastation and move on. Just like anything in life though, making a plan and having something to work towards always seems to be the best medicine. Chad and I fortunately were able to do that together and found our way to Shady Grove. Of course I still had a ton of soul searching to do and found some great books to read that really helped me change my perspective and really find God in the middle of everything. Up until this point I had felt so abandoned but I did not know how to get back to where I knew I needed to be...my heart was so hardened. Anyway, I just think about getting from there to here and the transformation that God has made in my heart, my life and even months before the positive pregnancy test. Chad and I made our second trip to DC w/ so much hope once again and it was scary for us to put ourselves out there once again knowing there was no guarantee for things to turn out any differently but having the faith in knowing that we needed to do this for us...maybe once more, maybe 3 more times we really did not know we just knew we had to try. Coming away from that second cycle pregnant w/ twins is just something that we can hardly believe even today w/ just 99 days to go :-) it seem so unreal and such and amazing blessing that we can hardly find the words to express our feelings. To have this experience is such a joy and a dream come true. So as I sit here just a few days before Christmas missing Chad and wishing he were here w/ me I just cant help but think of the future and how amazing and awesome next year will be and having these babies to love and cherish and celebrate w/ next Christmas brings tears of joy to my eyes. I am continually reminded that in God's time everything is perfect, not always the easiest concept the accept but one that He has proven to me time and time again. So I guess what I am trying to say is.....

....Happy Birthday Jesus...we love you and thank you for all the Blessings of our lives and especially for the gift of Evan and Taryn...we love them so much already!!!!!

Merry Christmas to everyone and may God Bless you and your family in 2009!!!!!