4D Ultra Sound Photos

For a New Years Eve surprise I took Mom T to a prenatal studio where they do 3D/4D ultra sound photos and it was such and awesome time. Seeing the babies up close like that was just too amazing. We followed up our u/s w/ a Yummy dinner at Bone Fish and it was fabulous. Now it is time for a low key celebration w/ just the 4 of us (and Nash and Teebo too) as we bring in 2009. I wish everyone a very Blessed New Year!!!!!!

You will have to bear w/ me as it was so hard to choose which pictures to post...they are all so adorable :-) Well to me they are anyway :-)


Taryn's little feet


Taryn w/ her foot up by her mouth


Taryn w/ her fist by her mouth...I count 5 fingers :-)


Taryn again...just looking so peaceful

Evan's little foot (actually it looks kind of big LOL)

Sweet Evan looking like a little Angel

Evan w/ his arm up covering his face...that little stinker

and here is one more of Sweet Little Evan

24w6d Belly Bump

24 weeks and growing...well actually this is a little late and I am now 25 weeks and growing but I had to wait until Mom T was here to take my picture...so here it is. I had my 25 week check up this week as well and everything checks out good. Babies heart rates continue to be in the 140 bmp range and I am measuring 28 weeks...so 3 weeks ahead which is not bad as they say that most will measure up to 7 weeks ahead so I think we are doing well. Praise God!!!!!!

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!!!!

99 Days and Counting

We are officially down to double digits as today marked 99 days (or less) and counting until the babies will enter this world, I just hope it isn't too much less :-). I know our ticker above reads more days but that is counting down to our official due date of April 13...however, our dr. says we will deliver no later then 38 weeks which is 30 March making it less then 100 days until our precious babies join our family. Sometimes that seems so far away and sometimes it seems just around the corner. I am still very much enjoying this pregnancy and trying to relish every moment of it as it may be the only one. I love feeling the babies move and kick...this entire experience has been such a blessing. Sometimes I cant help but look back and note how far we have come, especially as Christmas approaches. Last year at this time Chad and I were in NM skiing w/ the Tuttle family and having a really great time but for me all I could think about is what was to come in the upcoming year and more specifically in January. Once we returned home from NM we only had about a week until we packed the car and headed to DC for IVF #1 and we had so much hope and excitement for that cycle and unfortunately it did not quite turn out the way we had prayed for. Now looking back I still remember the total and complete devastation it was, truly one of the hardest things we have gone through...my heart was so broken and it did not feel as if the nightmare was ever going to end. I was so desperately seeking a way that I could move past my devastation and move on. Just like anything in life though, making a plan and having something to work towards always seems to be the best medicine. Chad and I fortunately were able to do that together and found our way to Shady Grove. Of course I still had a ton of soul searching to do and found some great books to read that really helped me change my perspective and really find God in the middle of everything. Up until this point I had felt so abandoned but I did not know how to get back to where I knew I needed to be...my heart was so hardened. Anyway, I just think about getting from there to here and the transformation that God has made in my heart, my life and even months before the positive pregnancy test. Chad and I made our second trip to DC w/ so much hope once again and it was scary for us to put ourselves out there once again knowing there was no guarantee for things to turn out any differently but having the faith in knowing that we needed to do this for us...maybe once more, maybe 3 more times we really did not know we just knew we had to try. Coming away from that second cycle pregnant w/ twins is just something that we can hardly believe even today w/ just 99 days to go :-) it seem so unreal and such and amazing blessing that we can hardly find the words to express our feelings. To have this experience is such a joy and a dream come true. So as I sit here just a few days before Christmas missing Chad and wishing he were here w/ me I just cant help but think of the future and how amazing and awesome next year will be and having these babies to love and cherish and celebrate w/ next Christmas brings tears of joy to my eyes. I am continually reminded that in God's time everything is perfect, not always the easiest concept the accept but one that He has proven to me time and time again. So I guess what I am trying to say is.....

....Happy Birthday Jesus...we love you and thank you for all the Blessings of our lives and especially for the gift of Evan and Taryn...we love them so much already!!!!!

Merry Christmas to everyone and may God Bless you and your family in 2009!!!!!

Dancing Baby

Today at work the Air Force Band came to our lobby and played a few Christmas tunes...it really was very nice...well in the middle of our "mini concert" Evan just started moving and kicking away and as soon as the music stopped so did he. It was so cute (at least to me). Taryn I think slept through her first Christmas concert but I am sure she will be making up for it. Actually both of them move quite a bit but not normally at the same time. Evan is my morning baby while Taryn is my night baby...I sure hope they get on the same schedule after they are born :)...I know wishful thinking.

We are doing well...miss Chad so much especially the closer Christmas draws near but I usually get an email or two from him daily and we have been able to IM (instant message) just about every other day. He is doing well and his spirits are high...just counting down until he can come home.

I am still feeling well...just getting bigger by the minuet. Starting to get some hip pain and low ab pain that I had read about...not too bad but it does make walking a bit uncomfortable from time to time.

I am starting to get tired of all the inquisitions...I cant even go to the ladies room (at work) in peace...I am always bombarded w/ a million questions and dare I tell them I am having twins it just starts a whole new level of the questioning processes. I try to be patient and remember there was a time I would have loved someone asking me these questions but sometimes you just want to go to the bathroom :-)...I am sure it doesn't help that I have to 500 x a day so that a lot of questions. I also know my belly is getting bigger because strangers are feeling more at liberty to reach out and touch it. That I don't think I will ever get used to...it like back off, yes I know my stomach is big but it is still my stomach and I don't go around touching peoples belly's LOL.
But I really cant and shouldn't complain things are going really well and I feel very, very blessed!!!!!! Chad and I thank God everyday for the precious gift of these babies :-)

22 Week Sonogram Photos

We had our 22 week sonogram this morning and it went very well...the babies looked great and were very active. I even got to see little Evan yawn...it was the sweetest :). They are on target for growth and weight. Taryn weighed in at a whopping 1Lb 1oz and Evan weighed in at 1Lb 3oz. Their growth and progression continues along beautifully we continue to thank and praise our God for such an amazing gift and blessing that these two little ones are. Here are the photos from this morning:

This is little Evan...I think he was blowing us kisses :) it was so fun to finally get a profile shot of his cute little face.

Here is our sweet Taryn w/ her face on the left and her belly on the right she has her little arm and hand up by her face...she must have been waving hello :)

She's Got Attitude

....and no I am not talking about me!!!!

Yesterday, I could feel Evan moving and kicking throughout the day but Taryn wasn't making much noise, so I thought I would check in on her and got out the Doppler. As I was rolling the Doppler around listening to her precious heartbeat I got a huge kick from her that was so strong I could see my stomach move. LOL. I guess that was her way of telling me she was fine and I just needed to leave her alone :-). There goes all my hopes that she will have Chad's disposition instead of mine...maybe Evan will :-). Anyway, it made me chuckle...that little stinker.

I have my next ultrasound on Monday...I cant believe I get another one so soon. I feel very blessed that they are watching the babies so closely...I know they are doing it for medical reasons but for me it is just a chance to peak in on them and marvel at the blessing and amazing gift that they are.

I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving...ours was nice, we had a few people over but it was mostly low key...tons of food like always...leftovers are my favorite part :)...especially when it is chocolate pumpkin cheesecake and deep dish apple pie. We got Chad off on Sunday, it was so hard to say goodbye but now the countdown can begin...we miss him so much already and cant wait for him to come home.

I am working over the next few weeks trying to get my reserve days in while I am still able to work. I am getting around just fine and handling the work days better then I imagined I would...mostly just get really tired at the end of the day and my hips are starting to hurt as well as having some pain in my lower abdomen but nothing too terrible...I can certainly handle it. I don't think the long walks in the freezing cold weather across the parking lot help much w/ the hip pain...that really is the worst part of my day...walking to and from the building. We got new uniforms last year but they don't have jackets for us yet so it is pretty cold when you cant bundle up, especially for this AZ girl. I know you are probably thinking how cold does GA get, but let me tell you it has only been about 30 degrees in the morning and when the sun isn't out yet and it is breezy, it gets pretty cold.

I will be sure to update the blog w/ pictures after the u/s on Monday. Hope everyone is doing well.

Hugs,
Gena

20 Weeks and Growing

Today marks my official 1/2 way point however technically my 1/2 way point was last week as dr. said I would not go past 38 weeks but it is still fun to make it to 20 weeks :-) and a milestone worth marking. Here is a picture of my 20 week belly...can you believe how much I have grown in such a short time...oh my...can you imagine what my 24 week picture is going to look like. I cant even think about it LOL. I will just blame it on all the holiday food.

The babies are becoming increasingly active. It is amazing some times I can feel them move for a solid hour and other time they are quite for an eternity and I start to worry. Sporadically I will have kick that are hard enough to be felt by my hand on my tummy and I try to get Chad each time this happens but the babies refuse to cooperate. Every time he touches my belly they stop kicking...it is so frustrating because the one thing I wanted most was for him to be able to feel them kick before he left. He always ask what it feels like to feel the babies move and I do my best to explain it but to be honest I think it is one of those things that you cant truly appreciate until you feel it first hand. It is so amazing...I still have to pinch myself everyday to remind me that we have 2 babies on the way. It has been such a wonderful experience so far I hope the 2nd half is as good as the first :-)

wow

There's no way to capture what it felt like to watch the ultrasound machine and hear the words "Yep, it's one of each."  The reality of the blessing of being called and entrusted by God to be earthly stewards to and physical providers for two children of His that are in every respect sheer miracles creates a matchless feeling of awe and amazement.  Watching Evan and Taryn on the ultrasound this morning touched every facet of the heart and energized every feeling of love that is humanly possible.  Look, there's a stretch of the arms...and look, their legs are crossed and there toes are wiggling.  There went Taryn, trying to cover one eye in some sort of early peek-a-boo game with us...and Evan was busy tossing and turning (can you say fiery little redhead, anyone??)  Watching those little hearts beating...hearing the sound of it through the ultrasound speakers...that's the kind of "music to your ears" that we'd dreamt of.  "I love you son"...and "I love you too sweet daughter" were the murmers under my hard-to-keep breath.  My heart must have cried the tears that the amazement in my face wouldn't allow.  His little children are on the way and doing so well so far.  The trials and tribulations of our "then" have blossomed into the "miracle" of our now....in only a way that God could do.  Our Twangels are a true realization of that...and oh to think about all that God has in store for these little teammates; there is beautiful purpose in their earthly journey and no greater blessing is there than to be a part of guiding them in their pursuit and service of Him.  Being a doublet-dad will be challenging, I'm sure.  I know I won't have all the answers, but thankfully I know the ONE who does!  

It's A

Here is the long awaited news :-) but first and foremost the babies got a clean bill of health today which was such a relief. We will get the official word on everything from our dr. next week at my 20 week appointment but so far everything looks great.
Well...it looks like we have 1 of each on the way...It's A BOY and a GIRL...I don't think it gets any better then that!

Twin A is our Girl and measured at approx 19 weeks 3 days and 9oz
Twin B is our Boy and measured approx 20 weeks 0 days and 11 oz

They said it was normal for the boys to be bigger then the girls so although they are not measuring the same any longer it seems to be normal and both are actually measuring ahead as I am only 19 weeks 0 days today.

And now for the Name Game....

Twin A was easy as we have had a girl name picked for some time and have yet to change our minds so our little girl is Taryn Grace
Twin B was a little trickier but we ended up deciding on Evan Reece

A couple years back we were searching for baby names and through our searching decided to look up Welsh baby names (to honor some of Chad's heritage) and came across the name Tarren for a girl which we loved the name but not the spelling so we flipped to the American spelling...that was easy and the middle name came a bit later but seemed to fit perfectly. We had Noah picked for a boy for sometime but over the last couple of years the name has become very popular so we went back to the drawing board. A couple weeks ago I just got on the web and started searching boy names made a list and gave it to Chad for him to scratch out any names that he did not like. I figured we would start w/ names that we both liked and go from there. By the time we went through all the names a few times we ended up w/ Evan and Hunter in the front...so I started looking up meanings of the names...no surprise Hunter means 'one who hunts' not too exciting LOL....but Evan means 'God is Gracious' (how could we not pick this)...so I shared the info w/ Chad and I think the meanings really swayed him on his decision...it seemed perfect. To top it off Evan happens to be a Welsh name as well (though we did not do this on purpose). Evan's middle name came from an idea Chad got from reading an article about baby name trends and one thing they suggested doing we using family names...Chad thought of his grandmothers maiden name Reese...however, the boy spelling is Reece so we had to change it a bit :-) and Reece means 'Fiery' could you imagine the irony if he comes out a redhead LOL.

Pictures

In this picture Taryn is kicking her brother...she is actually head down and towards the bottom of my abdomen...Evan is laying straight across with his head near my right ribs...so basically they are making a "T" right now...it is so fun to see how they move and change positions.

Evan is definitely a boy I am sure they would not appreciate me posting pictures of 'their stuff' on the Internet but I cant help it :-)

This is his little face and his stomach (laying on his back, head on the right and 

abdomen on the left while he's looking up to the left....eye sockets and nose clearly visible...and cute.)

This is Taryn's "stuff" or lack there of :-) she is definitely a girl!!!!

This is her precious face!!!

Window Shopping

Tuesday was a day off for Chad which allowed us to get some much needed window shopping in before he leaves. Unfortunately our town has little to offer so we thought we would make a day of it on Tuesday and head towards Atlanta. There is a Babies-R-Us on the Southside of Atlanta making it a quicker trip for us (or at least we thought it was going to be LOL). (Chad'sNOTE:  I got to park in one of the "Expectant Mothers" parking spots at the front of the store!  It didn't specify how far along you had to be, so I pulled right in!!  That was a great first...and hey, you gotta take advantage of those things while you can.)  I already had an idea of what I wanted to look at before we went...bouncy, car seats, pack-n-play and most importantly strollers. I was told to test drive the strollers before purchasing which we thought was a great idea...so I did some preliminary searching online, read a ton of reviews and thought I had found the perfect stroller for our twins. But of course the stroller I wanted was not in the store (online it stated that it was but when we got there they did not carry any stroller that cost over $200.00). We have found that at most stores will carry one or two double strollers but that is it, which I find kind of odd...yes, not too many have twins but many family's have 2 small children at the same time...you would think double strollers would be more in demand. Disappointed that Babies-R-Us did not have our stroller or really any that we would be interested in...we thought we would call around to a few other stores to see if they carried the one we were looking for or any of the other brands that we had been looking at online. We had no luck finding our stroller at any stores in Atlanta (via the phone calls we had made) but did think there were a couple of stores that might be worth heading to, to see what they did have. So much for staying on the south side of Atlanta...by the time we were done w/ our wild goose chase and many more dead ends we ended up way on the north side of town. However, our adventures that day ended up paying off...we ended up at the cutest little baby store (actually wasn't that small but compared to Babies-R-Us it was small). We asked where the strollers were and immediately upon walking back to the stroller section, a double stroller caught our eyes...it was the very one that we were looking for...so all that driving and being out all day ended up being very worth the trip. We got to test drive and play w/ the stroller that we wanted to buy so now we don't have to be worried about if the stroller is really as good as it looks on line. My favorite features are that it has awesome sunshades, it is light, and it folds and opens very easily...last thing I want is to be struggling w/ a heavy difficult stroller in a parking lot...I am sure there are plenty of other things coming my way to make me feel inadequate I don't need a stroller to do that LOL :-). Anyway here is the much talked about stroller now we just have to agree on the color :-). Before all this I never really put much thought into a stroller or realized it could be such a daunting process to pick one out. Or maybe it is just that I am afraid of making the wrong decision :-).

I am definitely learning my limitations and what it means to be sharing my body w/ these two little ones. On our little adventure on Tuesday I was doing great all day until at 7:00...my energy level just took a nose dive...it was kind of funny how quickly it happened...Chad was kind of laughing at me and was like I guess it is time to head home...I think I hang in pretty good considering :-).

Only 2 days until we find out what our little ones are...mostly I am just hoping for a clean bill of health for our babies :-)

16week Check UP

We had our 16 week check up on Thursday...and I will have to say it was one of the least eventful dr. appointment I have had in years but that is a good thing because it means there is nothing wrong. They checked my blood pressure which came back at 100/54...can that be right...that is so low for me. I am normally in the 120/80 range on a good day I may be 115/75 but that is it. Anyway, from what I have read I think it is normal. I was hoping this would mean I would be at low risk for preeclampsia but from what I understand my blood pressure will slowly rise throughout my pregnancy and I could still end up w/ pre-e...bummer...just a little worried about that because twin pregnancy tend to be at higher risk for it which can lead to early labor and I don't want that (but who does). I guess I will just appreciate my low numbers now and hope they stay that way :-). Beyond checking my blood pressure the only other thing the dr. did was push on my stomach a few times and said "very good" so I guess that means everything is "very good" LOL. I will admit it is hard to not have all kind of numbers and stats thrown at me as I am so used to knowing everything that is going on in my body at least through the whole trying to get pregnant process...it is hard to be so hands off but I am trying to adjust. I really wanted her to measure me just so I could see how far along I was measuring as they say w/ twins you normally measure between 4-7 weeks ahead...see...I just want to know where I stand :-) LOL...I know I need to let go :-)...Easier said then done though. I did get some of my questions answered though which was great:

- I most likely will be taken out of work at or around 28 weeks (Oh darn, that just breaks my heart)

- I can try for a regular delivery and may not be forced into a c-section...wooohooo!!!!!! But that will just depend on how cooperative the babies are. If Baby A is head down and Baby B is breach but not bigger then Baby A we can have a vaginal delivery...but if Baby B is bigger or Baby A is breach then I am headed for a c-section. Which really I don't have any strong feelings about I just want healthy babies so if it means them being delivered by c-section so be it...it is just nice to know that I actually have a chance to have a regular delivery.

- My dr. will not let me go past 38 weeks so that means if I have not had any medical complications that make them induce labor prior to 38 weeks or if I don't go into labor on my own by then...I will be induced no later than 38 weeks. I always thought it was weird when people had scheduled induction dates because most of the time it seemed like it was for their convenience and not due to a medical reason. So I always said I was not going to do that but I guess in this scenario I don't get a choice...it is a whole new ball game w/ twins...however, I will count myself very blessed if I make it to 38 weeks and have to be induced. Making it to 38 weeks w/ twins is a victory :-)

- We have our Anatomy Scan scheduled for 17 Nov...that is just 2 weeks from today...I will be 19 weeks...and then we will be able to know exactly what we are having...I am so excited for that. We did some work on discussing names this weekend and I think we actually have some picked out that we will go with. Chad actually gave me his first choices which luckily enough match mine so you would think that would be it but he prefaced his decision w/ "for now my choice is"....ummm what exactly does that mean...and at what point are you going to finalize that decision....too funny...so hopefully he does not wait until delivery day to exercise his right to change his mind :-) LOL.

Hope all are well.

Hugs,
Gena, Chad, Twin A and Twin B :-)

16 Week Baby Bump

Ok...well actually it maybe a little bigger then a bump but here it is anyway. For those who think I look big for 16w please remember I have 2 babies in there :-). It has been fun to watch and see my stomach grow. I catch Chad from time to time just staring at my stomach...if he didn't have such a sweet look on his face when he was doing it I may be getting a bit self conscious but from the look he has I know it makes him happy :-). I had my first "your expecting" comment from a stranger last week. Which actually surprised me as I was wearing a loose fitting t-shirt as Chad and I had just finished our evening walk through the neighborhood. It was nice though to know that I actually look pregnant to someone instead of just fat. I have a feeling to most people I just look a little thick in the middle unless I am wearing a fitted shirt...but I know my day is coming that I look huge to everyone so I am not rushing it :-).

Sweet Friends

We finally broke the news to our local friends and some at our Squadrons. I figured I should share w/ the girls in my Stamper Six group as they were coming over on Thursday for our monthly meeting and my stomach is getting big enough that it is hard to camouflage. My Stamper Six group is just a group of 6 girls and we get together once a month and I teach them new techniques each month so that they can go home and make their own pretty cards and other projects (really it is just an excuse for girl time :-) ). So anyway they were coming over so I thought now is probably a good time to tell them. One of the girls works in my Squadron, so I sent her an email and Oh MY Goodness was she excited for us...from what I hear she went and told everyone and anyone who would listen. People told her she was so excited that they would have assumed it was her daughter who was pregnant. Of course she knows our story and our struggles along the way and not very many people at work do, so that explains her excitement....anyway...I am glad I am not working there anymore...I would be so embarrassed...I am not one to be out there w/ everything (especially w/ my co-workers), I like to keep things to myself a little more but her excitement for us is very sweet but that is not really the sweetest thing...She brought a very yummy ice cream cake to our Stamper Six meeting w/ one of my favorite ice creams. YUMMY!!!!! It was such a sweet treat from a sweet friend. It was vanilla cake w/ chocolate peanut butter buckeye ice cream. A pregnant girls dream come true :-). Speaking of chocolate I was happy to read in my Fit Pregnancy magazine that women who ate chocolate at least 5 x a week were less likely to develop preeclampsia. Unfortunately I am sure a snickers bar doesn't count...they probably mean a small piece of dark chocolate but chocolate is chocolate and I will take what I can get (now I have an excuse to eat it) :-).

From There to Here (And other fun stuff)

I feel like we should fill in the blanks a little...maybe not completely necessary but it is a good way for us to document our journey. There was a lot that went on for us from the time of our post in Feb until our next post in July. First, we had to decide if we wanted to venture down the IVF road again and let me tell you it was not an easy decision for us. We decided that for us we would feel better if we had a little bit of a financial cushion so we decided to go away for Walter Reeds program and to Shady Grove which has a top notch Shared Risk program as well as wonderful success rates. It proved to be a great decision (not only because now we know the end result) mostly because the medical care we received was excellent. It appears after the fact that Walter Reed may have been a little cavalier in letting my estrogen levels get too high...as a matter of fact my doctor at Shady Grove was a little disturbed at how high the let me levels get. In addition to looking for a.) a better program b.) a little more financial security I also wanted to get additional testing done prior to going through another cycle. My concern was having fluid in my tubes...I had read that if you have blocked tubes you can end up w/ fluid in them that can actually kill the embryos once they are transferred. So I wanted to get a clear answer on this before we proceeded. Dr. Chang agreed that this was a good idea. So I head to DC on my own while Chad was deployed to get all the routine exams done that they require in order to approve someone for Shared Risk as well as an additional test called an HSG...basically they shot dye through your tubes and take pictures this is normally how they would diagnose someone having blocked tubes and I am sure many other abnormalities. Much to my surprise when I was having this test done the doctor looked at me a little perplexed and said "both of your tubes are open and you have both your right and left tubes"...imagine my surprise as my surgery report that I have from last year clearly states "absent rt ovary and tube" and "blocked left tube". Normally this would be good news but after 2.5 years of infertility, failed treatments and a failed IVF cycle not to mention all the waiting in between...it really wasn't happy news. It was very confusing, and very frustrating news. It was hard sharing the news w/ Chad as he didn't take it too well either plus the fact that he was deployed and not really to do much. This news didn't really change anything as far as our treatment went...it basically just changed our diagnosis from "Tubal Factor" to "Unexplained"...yes the dreaded unexplained infertility. Anyway it was a tough trip from start to finish...flt got canceled, was diverted into a different airport, luggage went to original airport, took 12 hrs to fly to DC when it should have taken 4 from start to finish but despite the speed bumps along the way it was a successful trip and we were approved for the Shared Risk program...now we just had to wait for Chad to get home. Originally we had planned to travel to DC in May for our first round of IVF w/ Shady Grove but that fell through and we ended up rescheduling for July...which turned out to be perfect timing (as God's timing always is).

For Inquiring Minds (questions we get a lot when we tell people our news)
- Are we going to find out what we are having? Yes
- Do we have names picked out? Kind of...we are pretty sure on one girl name and have half of
a boys name but we have a lot of work to do in this department...I figured we would wait
until we find out what we are having so we don't waste effort
- Nursery Ideas? We love the stuff at Restoration Hardware, just not sure which one yet
- How am I feeling? Great!!!!! A little morning sickness from weeks 9-11 and then again week
13 but all in all I cant complain, it hasn't been too bad. The worse thing for me is my energy
level...I am tired all the time.
- Cravings? Not really, other then normal routine stuff...this week it is brownies :-)...I know I
I need to stay away from the junk but I feel a little here and there wont hurt :-)

Chad:
I have to tell everyone how cute he is :-)
- He made me laugh when we were on our way to our first u/s he kept saying that we were going
to go get the "kids picture taken" which may not be that original to everyone else but I had
never heard anyone refer to an u/s this way...I thought it was cute :-)
- Every time I complain about a symptom he comes back about an 1 -2 hours later and will tell
why my back is already hurting or why I am having so many pains/cramps...he will go an look
it up on the Internet...too cute
- He is very protective and wont let me lift anything...including the dogs...which I miss picking up
Nashie...so I have to get on the floor if I want to cuddle w/ him
- Though I have called him Dad for the boys so many times since we have got the dogs over 4
years ago...I have to tell you that when we were at the u/s on Tuesday and the lady said to
Chad...."Dad, you are going to have to get over here if you want to see the screen" it made my
heart skip a beat...the hear Chad referred to as "dad" from someone else in this context was
a really neat moment for me.

Needless to say we are very, very, very, very excited and overwhelmed w/ joy...so much so that neither of us have slept very well the past 2 nights. We feel so Blessed and are so incredibly thankful for the Blessings God has given us.

Our true miracle continues to unfold before our eyes...it's been less than 100 calendar days since they began their journey of life, but already a lifetime worth of amazement found in the sheer awesome blessing that He continues to unwrap in our lives. At 1500 today, we showed up at the Imaging Center of Warner Robins for our second ultrasound that we have so longed for. It was still a nervous wait in the waiting room, for we were still praying, hoping, and seeking that confirmation that all is still well for the two embryos that we transferred back in Jul. We've been hearing heartbeat(s) on the doppler for weeks now, but only an ultrasound would show for sure if we still had our little Twinz on board. So after a 30 minute wait (which seemed like an eternity), we were called back. Angela was our ultrasound tech...very sweet and personable, she was excited about the prospect of seeing twins. And from the moment the ultrasound probe was placed on Gena's tummy, it was clear that our miracles were still there. And for the next 20 minutes, our eyes, hearts, and minds were filled with elation as we beheld those two little babies. Wiggling around, they were just beautiful. Little arms, little legs; a beautiful spine and a little nose; even a hand that waved "Hi" to the camera...WOW...talk about simple amazement. We were both just overcome with emotions far beyond words. And our little twangels measured in between 14-15 weeks old, which is right on schedule. With a free dinner on the line, we asked Angela to take a guess based on what she saw...and her prediction is a surprise :-). We'll be able to find out in 6 more weeks for sure, so we'll see how she did :-) and then will be happy to share our news. We left there on cloud-million, with pictures of our angels in hand. Below is a couple of their best shots. What a day...Tutt-Twinz are on the way :-)

12w4d: Meet Dr. Shirley

Today was a day of hope and reservation; the true hope that our new doctor would be great and the reservation that our decision to change may not have been the right one.  The waiting room and entire doctor's office was very nice, and we waited the standard 45+ minutes that you often do at the doctor's office these days to finally be called back.   After the normal weight and initial chart check with the nurse staff, Dr. Victoria Shirley came in to meet us.  She was a vibrant and personable doctor, eager to meet with us and talk about the current status and our plan ahead.  After asking some initial questions and discussing the basics of what the remainder of our pregnancy would hold as far as appointment and the like, she used the doppler to listen for our little angels (and she was definitely excited for us that we were having twins!)  She found the first right away, and the second gave her the same "trouble" (fetal finicky, we call it) that that little angel gives us when we use our doppler....but nonetheless, two heartbeats it was, with one measuring in at 155bpm and the other at 145bpm (both very good heartrates.)  It is such a cool and amazing sound to hear their little hearts just beating away for God.  And after listening, she asked us about our prior ultrasound, which opened the door for us to share our difficulties with getting that second ultrasound that Shady Grove wanted done at our old OB office....and she didn't hesitate to say that she wanted to get another one for us.  While that wasn't our goal of switching doctors, it sure was awesome to see that she truly cared about our concerns and valued our inputs and questions.  So even though it's a little later than it would have been, we'll be able to get that second ultrasound so we can see how the two little plums (their approximate size at this point) are doing.  And to top it off, she gave us both a big (and unexpected) hug as we concluded our appointment...which was truly genuine and awesome....while saying that we were going to have a lot of fun delivering our twins!  

We left the office elated with Dr. Shirley and the overall care we got...truly feeling valued in a way that made our unique circumstance understood and focused on rather than molded into whatever normal patients other clinics see.  We are off to a great start with her, and feel that our decision to change OB doctors was a great choice.  So we should have that second ultrasound appointment in a week or so, which will allow us to see our babies :-)  

We're ever-excited about the road ahead, and truly glad to be on board with Dr. Shirley.

 

10w6d: Doctor Swap

We've hit a bit of a rough spot in our care that has us seeking to change our doctor.  As part of the normal protocol for IVF at Shady Grove, they like to do an early ultrasound (like the one we did at 6 weeks) to confirm pregnancy and then another at 8 weeks or so to make sure everything is still progressing along well.  With the doctor's order in hand, we asked our local clinic for the second ultrasound.  Their first answer was that our insurance company will only cover two ultrasounds (the 6-8 week one and the second normal one at 20-24 weeks).  We didn't like the answer, but initially said okay.  We tried to have our nurse at Shady Grove talk to the local clinic to justify it, but they wouldn't budge.  So we then decided that we'd just pay for it out of pocket; to which they changed their story and said that they just don't do that (the extra ultrasound.)  So instead of treating us as a unique case (and they sure don't see twins every day), they felt it was more important to be "right" and "win" whatever "battle" was out there.  It left us wondering where the patient care really was and if they were at all focused on the wishes and desires of both the patient and our unique case.  And while we don't have many options for OB care is the little podunk town, there are a few.  So we talked and prayed about it and put in the request with our insurance company to switch doctors.  There are some friends of Chad's that recently had twins and used a different OB doctor, so that is who we are requesting.  It's not ideal to have to change doctors because our current OB knows our entire story; but the lack of genuine consideration and focused care that the nursing staff at the office was giving to us made it a virtual necessity to seek care elsewhere.    Our new referral got approved, and we are awaiting the new doctor's office review of our records that our old clinic faxed over so that we can get an initial appointment with them.  We are hopeful for better care; and if we are able to get that second early ultrasound, that would be a bonus for us.  

10w4d: HEARTBEATS!

"Make a joyful noise unto the LORD..." is what Psalm 98 says...and that is exactly what we heard our little babies doing today. Gena purchased a doppler on the internet, which gives us an external ear into her belly to hear those little twangles (twin angels) hearts beating away. While we were able to see their little hearts just beating away during our first ultrasound, they usually aren't audible/detectable with a doppler until week 10-12. So Gena did a "trial" listen today, and successfully found those little two. What a surreal and awesome and amazing feeling it was to hear the sound of their HEARTBEATS!! Easily distinguishable from ours, they rock along at a pace of 150-170 beats per minute. It's mindboggling when you think about the fact that while they are only the size of a prune and not even two inches in length, their heartbeat is so easy to distinguish. And it's been quite an addicting evening activity for us to listen to them...the doppler brings both peace of mind in being able to know that their little tickers are still beating away for Jesus and a chance to stay extra connected to our little angels :-) Because there is such a long time between the early ultrasounds and the 20-weeker, the doppler is the interim lifesaver for peace of mind. I don't think we've ever treasured the sound of a heartbeat more than we have since we first heard our babies'...it literally is music to our ears. And since the presence of a heartbeat is a big sign of good progression, we are filled with even more hope that this cycle is going to fill our arms in the way we have for so many years dreamed and hoped and prayed He would:-)

6w4d: First Ultrasound

If to the average person a picture is worth a thousand words, then it's worth billions to an IVF couple's when it comes to the first ultrasound. It was like "first-day-of-school jitters" for us all day as we waited with elated anticipation for our appointment at Dr. Sekhar's office. It was our first ultrasound, and 3pm couldn't come fast enough to quench the butterflies in our stomachs. Three blood tests and three HPTs had given us proof of the miracle we so longed and prayed for...but there is nothing like getting visual proof of what numbers are trying to tell you. The baby's first picture is a huge day...and at almost 7wks, there was every real chance of also being able to see the heartbeat; which would be a reassuring little beacon of hope and joy. For the icing on the cake, the first picture would allow us to complete the "HCG-guessing game" and know for sure whether we had a singleton or doublets. Gosh, saying it was a big day might be the understatement of the year thus far!

I was able to scurry away from work early to get home and pick Gena up so we could avoid having to take separate cars. We arrived on time, and waited 20-25 minutes to be seen.

The nurse got things setup and a tech came in to get Gena's blood pressure taken. A short time later, Dr. Shekar entered; happy to see us, he asked a few questions about our cycle with Shady Grove and the blood test results. The moments of anticipation built as he got the ultrasound machine setup. I smiled at Gena, and had the chance to glimpse at the monitor first before he turned it toward her...

I think we both knew it right away...though Gena probably won by a few split seconds because I was ensuring in my mind that we were not looking at the ovary this time (seen lots of ovary ultrasounds over the past year, let me tell you!) Our eyes conversed in affirmation with each other as Dr. Sekhar told us there were two sacks and congratulated us on our TWINS!! :-)

The next 3-5 minutes or so were simply like some fairly-tale miracle land as we looked a little closer at "Twin A" and Twin B"...both of them measured out at 5.6mm, making their estimated gestational age at 6w2d, which was right on track....guess the "I'm taller....nuh uh....I'm taller" feuds will have to wait until the next ultrasound :-) "There's cardiac activity in both," he said...music to our ears; and we watched him zoom in to each little angel...sure as can be, there were each of their little hearts just a beatin' away for God. I think there might have been a quick and small (and I mean small) waive of the arm-bud and tail as if to say "we love you mom and dad and we're gonna grow up strong!" Two angels...two heartbeats...each only a quarter of an inch in size....miracles in every single way! We couldn't stop smiling...and neither could Doc or our nurse tech. We had a quick wrap-up meeting in Dr. Sekhar's office, and then headed to the front to checkout. The nursing staff congratulated us on our pregnancy when they saw Dr. Sekhar's notes for the next appt; almost just seconds thereafter, one of the nurses came to the front area and added to the congratulations, and let the two other nurses know that we were having TWINS :-) We rode cloud-1000 out of the clinic and headed off to Olive Garden because the children were craving salad and breadsticks.

It's all still sinking in...it's not very often you have a miracle in your life and right in front of your eyes. People classify lots of things as "miracles.".....but this one is from God, and it's way beyond words....it's an all-caps and boldprint MIRACLE. We've got TWO tinyTUTTs.... doublets ... Twutts. :-) Praise you o'Lord...children are truly a gift from God, and we embrace our two little angels so eager to meet, care, love, and parent them....all for your glory and purpose.

OMG.....can you believe it.......we're having TWINS!!!!!!! :-)

Beta #3

Today is Thursday Aug 14 and should be my final blood test....I sure hope so...I am tired of getting stuck every other day...it is bad enough that I still have to get a huge shot in my bum every night before bed :-). Anyway today is 24 days past egg retrieval and the magic number was 18346 which is a 54 hr doubling time but still good my Dr. is very happy with it so I guess for now everything continues to progress as normally. Today I got my order to have an early ultra sound. The standard is to have the first one at 8 weeks so I am not sure if my dr. here is going to agree to do one at 6 weeks as Shady Grove is requesting but I sure hope so...I really want to see our baby and to see that everything is on track.

More to come....

Beta #2

Today is Tuesday Aug 12 and I had my 2nd HCG blood test. Chad and I had spent the weekend in Nashville celebrating anniversary #5 and our incredible blessing that we are still beaming over. Today's test was a little nerve wracking waiting to get the number back as I had mentioned previously doubling rates are important in indicating if the pregnancy is healthy or may have some issues. Not that it is 100% but if you have good doubling rates it is a good indication that things are progressing as they should. So I went in w/ a number in mind that I wanted to see my HCG come back at...my magic number was 9000-10000. Today's number at 21 days past egg retrieval came back at 9957, so I guess I am a good guesser :-). I am so relieved to see this number and feel like things are so far so good :-)

Got word back from Shady Grove and they want me to do one more blood test in a couple days so I guess I will go back on Thurs for test #3

Beta #1

Ok today Thursday Aug 7th was the day I was to get my first blood test to confirm I was/was not pregnant. Shady Grove will not got off of home pregnancy test as a matter of fact they discourage their patients from taking them. Yea right, like anyone is going to wait for the blood test :-).

So I had to go in for my HCG Beta blood test. The clinic looks at your total number of HCG or and their doubling rates to help them determine health of the pregnancy early on. The standard doubling rate they are looking for is for your numbers to double every 48-72 hours. Obviously in order to measure doubling rates you have to have more then 1 test done....so I will have 2-3, depending on what they decide they want. I think most dr. like to see HCG levels above 100 at the first blood draw but anything over 5 is considered a positive pregnancy test. We have spent a lot of time on http://www.betabase.info/ learning about average HCG levels for respective days of pregnancy, just so we would have some idea of how to gage my numbers when we got them back.

So for today which I am 17 days past egg retrieval or ovulation (however you want to look at it) my number was 1697.

Holy Smokes!!!! could that be right the average for today for a singleton is 292 and for twins is 580...I called Chad immediately and told him we may need to prepare ourselves for more then one. Of course it could just be one very healthy baby which would be perfect too.

So I guess I am definitely pregnant....I can hardly believe it!!!!!!

MIRACLE Moment...HPT says BFP!!!

A morning like this....just has to be told from each point of view!...

Chad's PERSPECTIVE:

If you've ever been awoken by a tug on the shoulder, the 20/bazillion visual acuity-because-you're-tired sight of your spouse standing at your bedside, and the sound of them gasping for air, then you'd have a good feel for how my morning went today. It was 0703, and the dream I was having of pattering footsteps headed my direction were brought to life as I was awakened by Gena shaking my shoulder and saying "Lovie"...I sprung to wakeness, startled at the site of my wife standing at the side of my bed gasping. But it sure did not take long for sheer panic to turn to sheer amazement on my part...my brain worked overtime to compile and comprehend the audible words that my ears detected. On probably what was the third time she had said it (sure felt like a ton more), I was finally able to hear two very beautiful words that I don't think anyone on this planet could every appreciate more: "It's positive". While there was no question what "it's" and "positive" referred to, the HPT she held in her right hand was the clear evidence of the miracle that was unfolding this morning. I jumped out of bed and held my Gena tight. I was truly at a loss for words as my heart and mind were just overflowing with emotions and thoughts! It IS positive!!! Praise you, O'Lord...that you would bless us. There they were...two lines on the HPT...and ours was now darker than the control line. Three years of what I would call the most difficult journey in life had blossomed into a future who's joy and blessing and I cannot even comprehend. The rest of the day was simply a whirlwind of beautiful emotions and thoughts...and going back to look at that HPT at least 50 more times just to see it again :-) In this moment, I just know that it was ALL God...because nothing of the feelings of this day were tangibly confined...to say it was surreal is the understatement of the year! When God works a miracle, as He has done this day, awe and majesty define the moment. I recalled the image of Monica, our nurse at Shady Grove, breathing on her knuckles and polishing them on her shoulder as she stated that these embies were going to stay this time. Goose bumps and chills covered me as I thought about hearing the words "Daddy's Home"...once just a dream, it is now just some amount of time away. It was the best....and I mean the BEST wake up ever!! Gosh, what a day....what a moment....what a blessing. I have to go hug my Gena again and glance at the HPT one more time :-)

Gena's PERSPECTIVE:

I am not sure I will be as eloquent w/ my words as Chad but I will try. Chad and I had a long discussion the night before about whether or not I would test in the morning. The truth is I could have test a couple days ago but I was too scared and really, really did not want to see another negative test...so as the discussion went on it was determined that Chad really wanted me to test and I reasoned waiting a couple more days would not make another negative result any easier to swallow so I might as well get it over with. So we went to bed that night knowing I would test when I woke up in the morning. I woke up first at 0500 and thought it was too early and I could wait a couple more hours for disappointing news so I turned over and when back to sleep. I woke a 2ND time at 0700 and laid there for a minuet to think about it, do I want to test now or should I wake up a little more and then test closer to 0800...after a few seconds I thought let me get this over with, that way I can get back in bed and be sad and have time to digest it before Chad wakes up and I have to break the news to him as well. So I got up and took the HPT when I was done I laid it on the bathroom sink as I washed my hands...I looked down and there it was, 2 pink lines....something I had longed to see so many times but never did. I could hardly believe it. I immediately started gasping and crying the same time. I am sure I sprinted down the hall towards Chad who was sleeping so peacefully at that time. I did pause for half a second and think that maybe I should not wake him but before I could even finish my thought I was tapping him on the shoulder. Poor guy it took him a second to figure out what was going on but when he did his smile was so big and we were both so overwhelmed with these feelings that we were not sure would ever come our way. It was definitely one of the happiest days of my life. I feel so blessed beyond words. "Thank You Jesus....for the awesomeness of your love and blessings. We love you and honor you and thank you everyday for choosing us. "

TWO TUTTsicles

It's Monday, 29 Jul, and we just got an amazing email from our Shady Grove Nurse, Monica. We had left 5 embryos in the care of the lab after transfer to see if they could make it to the Day 5 blastocyst stage and thus be eligible for cryopreservation; we did not have any that made it to Day 5 when we cycled with Walter Reed...but because we had a least one more Grade-1 embryo at transfer day (beyond the two that we transferred), we were cautiously optimistic that we would have embryos to freeze from this cycle...which would be both a blessing and an amazing thing. Well, the email said that TWO tiny-Tutts had made it to Day 5 as blastocysts, and that they were being cryopreserved so that we could go pick them up from "Day Care" in the future (maybe a 1.5 to 2 yrs from now, with the hope that our current embryos keep us reproductively occupied for the next 9 months.) :-) That was awesome news and sparked the hope that we are still holding onto for the two that we have on board to give us a positive pregnancy. For if two could make it to Day 5 in lab conditions, then our two must be able to make it because they are in the best place they can be.

So with our Brembyos and Sisbyos "chillin" :-) in DC for a while, we remain ever (and a bit more now) hopeful that this cycle is going to bring an angel (or two) of His to our family. Our Beta test is still 11 days away, so we are just enjoying being back at home and trying to keep our minds and days occupied until we can get the thumbs-up or thumbs-down. We're riding along upon the prayers of so many...can't even fathom what it would feel like to actually find out that we're pregnant. God has an amazing way of working miracles....and "no" is often our misinterpretation of His saying "not right yet."....but there is a time for everything, and He knows what is best...we sure are listening for Baby Bells to ring!!

Back Home...Hoping and Praying

It is 2215 on Sunday, Jul 28, and we arrived safely back to Kathleen, GA after a total of 12 hours in travel (that 1 hour break at Red Robin was great!!) We are thankful for safe miles on the road and now are settling back in to our homestead. It's quiet here, as Nash and Teebo are still staying at Arlene's...we'll pick those two little bubbas up tomorrow afternoon and I am sure they will be happy to see us!

Now back at home, we enter what is without a doubt one of the toughest and most difficult times in this process....the 2-week wait. For millions of people, this wait is simply disguised by the daily event of life and only garners notice when the wife is "late". But for us and our fellow fertility-challenged couples, it is an agonizing time of wondering whether "it worked" or not. In IVF, there is no guessing as to whether fertilization was successful or whether there are little embryos present in the body with the potential to implant....."successful" cycles are completed that way. It's a time when knowledge is not necessarily power or "positive", because there is up to two weeks where positive represents a dream or miracle far more often than it represents a couple's state of mind or feelings. It's a time when you hope and pray that good indications translate into positive signs; it's a time when you are reminded once again that it's a God thing...there is nothing we or any person of medicine can do to make it happen....collectively, we simply do our best and trust that God will take care of the rest according to the plan He has for us. While faith and trust our very powerful entities, they are also very testing in times like these...when the answers you so long for seem so far away; the reality is that this "waiting game" culminates with a test that will make a miracle or break a hope....it can amaze two lives or just as quickly shatter two hearts. We simply hope like Jeremiah that an angel of His needs is entrusted to our care...a husband and a wife yearning to be a Mom and a Dad.

Shady Grove does things a little different with the Beta (blood pregnancy test) than Walter Reed does in that they wait longer; so it will be on day 18 this time around rather than day 14 (as it was with WR). There is always the option of an HPT (home pregnancy test) earlier than the Beta, but that carries it's own tough emotions and reality. So according to the calendar, the Beta for this cycle will be on Friday, 8 Aug (the day before our 5th wedding anniversary :-) ) What an extra-special gift that would be...it would be the best ever!

Day 14: Heading Home w/ B.O.B

The RX is loaded and the Red Robin in NC is loaded into the Garmin GPS as we pull out of Silver Spring this morning. It was an awesome stay in that little metropolis just north of DC. Our time seemed to go by fast; and in actuality, it did and should have in the sense that we spent less calendar days up in DC for this cycle with Shady Grove than we did in January with Walter Reed.

It'll be an 11-hour trek home and we'll be stopping at the halfway point for some good food (and more french fries) :-) at Red Robin. We've got Babies on Board...and pray so much that they will stay around this time. We have so many people praying for us, many of which we do not even know. We missed out on getting a picture of the embies before transfer as we were able to at Walter Reed...so we're just resolved, then, that they will have to implant and be born so we can see what they look like!

Shady Grove was simply an amazing experience from start to finish...their staff and facilities are exceptional and their patient care was second to none. There is no doubt that it was the right step for us...even up to the penny, which God perfectly provided for us to be able to even do the Shared Risk program with them. This is truly a journey of faith and trust...and we know that this doesn't happen except by the hand and power of God. We truly have done our best and we humbly let the results be up to God. Our prayer is simply for the opportunity to raise and provide for an angel of His that is part Chad and part Gena. We are praying for nothing short of a miracle...one which has every chance of beautifully blossoming into reality because God is in control.

Day 13: Vandzuras, Golf and Grover

Today was a great day...the four of us got to sleep in then enjoy one final day in DC before we headed back to GA....so we spent it with Spark and Gena. The vowel sisters (that's G"e"na and G"i"na) did some shopping while Spark, his son Zach, and I went to ProGolf to hit some golf balls. It was a fun time out there on the range, and I played under Gina's profile so it was funny when it would hit a good shot and the machine would reply "Great shot, Gina." Just how great did she do....well, second highest score for the day. I don't know if they will invite me back to play, but we had a great time out there; Zach can hit the ball really well, and Spark makes it look effortless and smooth as butter!

Walter, our build-a-bear monkey was our mascot from our last IVF cycle with Walter Reed. This time, Gena brought back a Giraffe to commemorate our trip for this cycle, as we had seen an equally cute giraffe in Pottery Barn kids while we were browsing in there. We've named him Grover (after Shady Grove), and he's holding down the fort in the nursery with Walter...awaiting the arrival of the twinz.

Our Saturday finished up with some quick packing and then relaxing, as we readied for the 11-hour drive home. It's an eerily-odd feeling, as we've left an IVF clinic before feeling as though things went awesome and that it could finally be "the time."...we can only pray and hope that this time is different!

Day 12: The Melting Pot

With the twinz on board, the calorie coefficient has increased at least a little bit. So what better way to try to fulfill that than to go to a great restaurant that you've never been to before...and that's exactly what we did in meeting Spark and Gina for dinner at the Melting Pot in downtown DC. Other than one cheese fondue that Gena made at home, we have not really been immersed into the fondu dining style as a full meal...but we were more than willing to give it a fair try :-)

Our waitress was a rookie in its fullest meaning, but aside from that it was a great time and experience. We had the "Big Night Out" special, which allowed us to pick our appetizer, main course and dessert; and it also included a salad. We started with some awesome Caribbean cheese fondue, which came with bread, veggies, and granny smith apple piece dippers. Then it was on to a tropical salad. Our Fondue Fusion main course was awesome and consisted of: Lobster Tail; Filet Mignon; Jerk-seasoned Sirloin; Vanilla Rum Chicken; Zesty Shrimp; Pork Tenderloin; and veggies. After packing all of that scrumptious food down; it was on to the finale... and a finale it was: COOKIES AND CREAM MARSHMALLOW DREAM fondue. This was dark chocolate, topped with marshmallow cream, flambee'd, and then topped with Oreo cookies....oh yeah, and we got brownies, rice crispy treats, strawberries, pound cake, marshmallows, and chocolate covered marshmallows to dip into it! It was heaven in a pot :-)

What a great time being out with Spark and Gina and what a great meal at the Melting Pot. We'll definitely seek one out in Atlanta, and definitely recommend it if there is one in your area. Two thumbs up for the fantastic fondue!

Day 11: Amazing Transfer...TWINZ :-)

We arrived at Shady Grove at 0955 this morning and waited to be called back for our transfer. It was reassuring when they gave us the "all clear" call that our seven embryos had continued to grow and that we did indeed have our desired two to transfer. And much to the hopes of the both of us and in fitting resemblance of the dream Chad had last night, Dr. Simon Kipersztok, a former Israeli military ejection seat repair technician who was filling in for Dr. Chang today.....and no, he didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night and DOES have exceptional medical credentials (as do all the doctors at Shady Grove)...gave us the latest report on our embryos.

Our most dear hopes and prayers were answered when he said that they would be transferring two 8-cell, Grade-1 embryos....for a three day transfer, it just doesn't get any better than that... truly, it really doesn't. And the other five our continuing to grow, with at least one Grade-1 embryo among them which makes the prospects of having an embie(s) for cryo at day-5 a very good possibility.

So at 1047 this morning, two beautiful 8-cell Grade 1 (red-heads)...I mean, embryos, were transferred to their 9-month home (we pray so much!)

Monica came in and greeted us...and went over our discharge instructions. We handed over some Cake Love cupcakes and a hug to her as we said our "so long for now" and headed out the doors of the clinic. Amazed by our results and cautiously optomistic, we keep it in the hands of God and trust His will be done.....we have done everything we can and prepared our field for rain....we're leaving the rest and the results up to God.

Walter accompanied the retrieval on Monday and the transfer today, offering supervision and words of encouragement to the Shady Grove Staff. And in keeping with tradition, we went to McDonalds after we left Shady Grove to get our post-transfer french fries. So it was a cheeseburger Happy Meal with Girl toy for Gena and both and Nugget Happy Meal and Hamburger Happy Meal both with boy toys for Chad (had to get one for each child :-)) What a day filled with so much joy and excitement....and cautious hope. We'll be here for a few more days to relax and enjoy some more of DC before we head back to GA....and when we do, we'll have two Baby's on Board :-)

Day 10: Embryo Math

It's day 10 of our trip, and our 8 embryos are multiplying under God's watch in the care of the Shady Grove lab. There they were....1x2=2; 2x2=4; ...while they were busy working on their elementary math skills, we received a phone call report this morning on their progress; and we have seven that are still growing along with one having made it's way to heaven. Of the seven,

their first report card looked like:

5-cell

4-cell

4-cell (15% fragmentation)

2-cell

2-cell

2-cell (20% fragmentation)

2-cell

That is awesome...meaning we have 5 embryos with zero fragmentation and two that have what they consider mild degrees of fragmentation. For us, that was a great piece of news because all seven of our embryos for our cycle at Walter Reed had fragmentation. That put us on a great course to have at least one grade-1 embryo to transfer. Speaking of transfer, they have it set up for a 3-day transfer to happen tomorrow. While we might wish for a five day, the top three have clearly distinguished themselves as ahead of the pack and thus we don't need to wait the extra days for the frontrunners to highlight themselves...the best place for the embies (even though the lab is great at what they do) is the human body, so it's best to get them back where they belong as soon as you can...so absolutely no issues with having a 3-day transfer. So we will show at 1000 tomorrow for a 1030 appt time. We'll get one final report tomorrow morning before the transfer to let us know where they stand. Dr. Chang and our nurse Monica are extremely happy with our progress and are very hopeful for positive results based on how things have gone for us. While it's true that we had a good cycle at Walter Reed, we are even better off with this cycle because of the better quality of the embryos as well as Gena's E2 levels being far more under control than Walter Reed kept them. So it was great news today, and tomorrow we'll head over to the day care to pick up our children (well two, that is) and bring them home (to stay, hopefully). With our numbers, there is a solid chance that we will have one or two that make it to day 5 and will be eligible for cryopreservation...we'll know more on that on Saturday or Sunday. Here's to a successful transfer tomorrow.

Day 9: Octuplets!

Eight must be the magic number for us because that's just how many embryos we have after retrieval and fertilization...which is exactly the same number we had at Walter Reed. So overall, it was 14 follicles---11 eggs retrived--10 mature--8 fertilized....very good numbers across the board, especially considering we are operating off one ovary (well, Gena, that is :-) ) Our octuplets are in the hands of God and the lab technicians and embryologists as they continue their development. Our doctor or nurse (Monica) will call tomorrow with an update on how they are progressing and what their decision will be regarding our transfer date (Thurs or Sat). Gena is feeling good following the procedure, but still trying to kick the cold that she picked up...and Chad is trying to fight it off as well.....foreshadowing of that old adage that when the kids come home sick, mom and dad are sure to follow! Things are well overall and it has been a great stay here in Silver Spring thus far....no big plans for today due to the need for rest, but tomorrow we are on tap to go to the Melting Pot with Spark and Gina....that promises to be a great time! So we'll wait for the phone to ring tomorrow and see what is in store.

Day 8: GoodSWISS Hunting

Sleeping in until 1030 this morning was a much needed luxury after yesterday's 0230 shot appointment. Chad was still shaking off the sleep rust and Gena was still trying to kick the persistent little head cold. We showed at the clinic today just prior to 1300, and were escorted to our own waiting room while the nurse, anesthesiologist and RE all came in and talked with us to give a rundown of what the next two hours would hold. With our assigned doctor out of town on vacation, Dr. Jeanne O'Brien performed the retrieval. Gena did really great with the procedure, having virtually no after-affects and feeling less groggy than she did after retrieval at Walter Reed. It was a fast procedure, over before Gena even knew it and barely enough time for Chad to get from the 4th to the first floor to pick up meds at the pharmacy and then back up to the fourth floor waiting room. We spent a short 15-20 minutes in the recovery room before Gena was cleared to go...and off we headed back to the hotel. We left with a smile on our face and much hope remaining in the lab...11 eggs had been retrieved from the 13 follicles we had, which was a great number and one more than we had at our cycle at Walter Reed. So now, it's awaiting the phone call tomorrow afternoon that will let us know how many of them were successfully fertilized. As it's always been, they are in God's hands now and we pray for his care and feeding to our little gems of life as they begin their journey at the touch and skill of Shady Grove's embryologists and lab. Can't wait to see how they are doing.

Day 7: "Pull the Trigger!"

We burned the midnight oil from last night into this morning so that we wouldn't be late for our 0230 HCG shot; and under the steady hand of a Health Careers Graduate, it was flawlessly on time and mostly pain-free :-) The rest of this Sunday, 20 Jul, was spent: for Chad, trying to catch up on sleep; and for Gena, to try to kick the head cold she had come down with yesterday. Season 1 of Grey's Anatomy helped fill some of the downtime in the evening, as we thought about tomorrow's retrieval surgery and what our numbers would be. A burrito from Chipotle quenched the hunger pains of dinner and a piece of apple pizza topped it off.

Overall, today was a lazy day, and you definitely need one of those every now and again.

Day 6: Legal Swiss

Starbux was the aroma of the morning as day 6 of our trip began. Once again successful at the sleep preservation methods, our appointment was even later than the last: 1115 this morning. It was yet another great checkup, this time having follicles both of legal drinking and legal driving (separate, of course!!) sizes....the leader of the pack is at 22mm, with a total of 5 over 18mm. Our baby swiss is indeed aging nicely and we await a call later this evening that will likely be the one to confirm that we are triggering late tonight or early tomorrow morning. We had a candid chat with Tina, on the of nurses, to review the procedures for the next couple of days. The good news about trigger is that it drops Gena's shots from three per day to just one.

The call came in just after 5pm today with confirmation of trigger....which is a day earlier than we did at Walter Reed and good news to us....the "ooof" part of the news is that we have to give the shot at exactly 0230 in the morning tomorrow (Sunday morning)....that doesn't help the sleep schedule very much, but it's a necessary sacrifice, of course. So we'll burn the midnight oil and ensure we are on time for the injection. That means will have the rest of the day Sunday off and go back in to the clinic on Monday afternoon at 1300 for a 1430 retrieval surgery. Then we'll just wait and see how many they get, how many are successfully fertilized, and how they end up growing. Things are progressing well, and we've hoped and prayed they would. It'll be a late night, but it's the start of the next mini-phase for this cycle.

Day 5: Driving Age

It's day #5 of our trip and it started with a trip to Starbux and then a trip over to the clinic. We have successfully obtained later and later appointments...started with 0930 and by today are up to 1o15. At this rate, if we don't have our trigger on the earlier side of the timeline we might need to bring dinner to our checkup appointments!! :-) But can you blame us for wanting the extra sleep if we can get it? At any rate, it was another very good checkup. The staff is extremely happy with the way that Gena is progressing. We still have a baker's dozen (or more) of follicles, with two that are are above 18mm and one that is just below it; the other's fall in line all the way from 14-16mm. One marker they use is driving age, as they want at least three follicles to be 18mm or greater before they will look to trigger. So it's not enough for the follicles to have their permit...they've gotta have the license to "drive". So we'll go back for another checkup tomorrow morning to get another assessment....which we figure will be the one that will have us trigger either late Sat night or early Sunday morning for a Monday retrieval. E2 level is progressing nicely and was 1306...which was right at 200 points less than on the same cycle day at Walter Reed. That being one of our concerns, it's nice to see where it is at for this cycle.

Overall, another great day. Spent a few hours after the appointment over at the mall in Tyson's Corner...enjoyed some TGI Friday's while seeing what Pottery Barn Kids and Restoration Hardware had to offer....lots of fun things to deck out a nursery with....so we sure do hope we can spend some money with them in the not too distant months! :-) Silver Spring continues to be a great place to stay as were getting to enjoy the perks of downtown living....which, yes, is a far cry from they way things are back in the stickland they call Warner Robins, GA.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Day 4: Teenagers!

It's day four of our stay here, and we were back at the clinic this AM at 1000 for our checkup. Margaret, our ultrasound tech, was her enthusiastic self again and commented that things are looking very very good. We've got a baker's dozen for the follicle count, with the leader of the pack measuring in at 17 millimeters; the others range from 10-15mm. We are continuing on the lowered dosage of meds and it appears to be working very well. E2 level today was 946 and we are projected to trigger on Saturday, 19 Jul. That would be a day earlier in the cycle than we triggered at Walter Reed...and actually the day we feel that we should have triggered when we cycled with them. So overall words today were once again great, and they are truly keeping a close eye on our progress which is such a good and reassuring feeling.

Today's "tourist" travels took us to the White House....went and took in the views from both the North and South lawns....was a short but great trip. Riding the metro is always a fun adventure, and we took in some lunch at Uno's Pizzaria in Union Station.

Overall, another great day on our journey with Shady Grove and another great day overall here in DC. Staying downtown in Silver Spring continues to be a fun experience, with so much within walking distance. Day four finished up with some good relaxin'; we'll be back at the clinic tomorrow morning.

Day 3: Growing Up

Day 3 started with another trip to the clinic. Dr. Chang joined the ultrasound tech, Margaret, this morning for the appt. It was Chad's first chance to meet him, and it was great to see him come down for a first hand checkup...he showed genuine interest and explained his view of how things were progressing (which was well); targeting us, at this point, for a potential day 10 trigger on Sunday, 20 Jul. The ultrasound showed solid follicle growth; the count stood at 12 follicles...the largest of which was 12 millimeters...so they are right on pace. Overall, another successful and short appt at the clinic (they surely are efficient in processing their patients)...so nice to have an actual appt time as opposed to Walter Reed's Southwest Airlines-style cattle call of getting seen in the order that you rumbled in, which started at 0600.

Shady Grove's Rockville office is an extremely nice facility, and the staff has been exceptional thus far. There's an extra degree of comfort and peace of mind when you know that you are valued as an individual patient/case rather than seen as just another number in an endless cycle of procedures.

This evening's call from the clinic confirmed Gena's excellent progression thus far and has us going back tomorrow morning for another checkup. E2 level was 556 (Gena won the bet for closest to the actual number) and was the recipient of two scoops of ice cream from Ben-and-Jerry's (seven layer coconut bar and Whirled peace...two new flavors and oh they were good!!)

That's it for Day 3....all is well.

Day 2: Nice Ovary!

Today was our first appointment at Shady Grove. Chad got to get the indoc of the facility, as it as his first visit to the clinic. It is extremely nice and the staff is cordial and prompt. Our visit lasted 40 minutes, and we were headed out with good news and a picture to prove it.

Margaret, our ultrasound tech commented, "You go girl" when she saw how many follicles Gena had (and in just one ovary.) The progress was solid and the growing group numbered 15 in total.

Gena is on 3 shots a day right now; it may be one less per day than our last cycle with Walter Reed, but it's still three pricks a day and that's not fun!

The clinic called this evening and lowered the dosage on one of the drugs; a change which we fully expected and one which showed us that they truly are closely watching us as an individual case rather than trying to fit us into a standard protocol. Tomorrow was an expected day off, but they want us to come in for a checkup so we'll be back at the clinic at 0945 tomorrow.....guess it's Panera Bread for breakfast, once more :-)more

Nash and Teebo stayed back in GA this time...and we sure do miss them!

We spent the evening over at Spark and Gina's place....had a great dinner and they took us to a great custard place called "The Dairy Godmother" for dessert. They are doing very well and are expecting the birth of their son Samuel in Oct. They are treasured friends!

Well, that summed up day 2 of our trip. More to follow as we continue through this cycle.

Day 1: "Interstate" SHADY GROVE

The curtain has once again opened on our parenthood journey; with our first cycle at Walter Reed putting us on the exit ramp with a negative, we have re-merged on the road...now traveling down Interstate Shady Grove, as we work with the Shady Grove Fertility Clinic here in Rockville, MD (just a stone's throw north of Washington DC.) We are participating in their
Shared Risk program, which had a mountain of an expense to enter into but offers as much "comfort" (and there is often very little on the infertility journey) as is possible. If at first we don't succeed, we'll get to try-try again.

We drove 12.5 hours yesterday from Kathleen, GA, to get here. Arrived at the Hilton Hotel in downtown Silver Spring, MD. This was one of our fun spots to come to during our last trip, so we decided to skip staying at Bolling AFB like we did last time and stay downtown where all the action was!

We're settled in and ready for part two of this journey, which has now encompassed three plus years. And we come here knowing one thing...that we've done all we can to prepare our field; and we trust that God will, if it is part of his plan for us, let it rain. We've given everything we have, and leave the results up to God.

Finally an Update

Well as I am sure most have already heard and those who haven't probably could have assumed as we have been a bit delayed in our update our test came back negative. We were prepared for it as we had a lot of signs (I won’t go into detail :-) ) that pretty much let us know a few days before test day. I would like to be able to say that we shrugged it off and said "we'll get it next time" but honestly it has not been so easy. To be honest this has probably been one of the toughest weeks of my life. The pain is beyond anything I can really explain, the hope diminished and the fear so real. The fear comes from the realization that this just may not be in the cards for us. I know the easy answer for anyone who has a faith walk is that 'well then it is not meant to be' and as much as I would love to jump on the bandwagon of acceptance for whatever God's plan is for me it is not that easy when his plan may exclude children for Chad and I. At some point we will have to come to accept it as we will need to in order to be able to get on with our lives and find happiness once again. I just know it will be a tough journey to that place where we can come to peace with his answer to our deepest prayers and desires.

Test day was last Monday and it was a difficult day and the hospital did not make it any easier for me. It took me until the afternoon to even get the nerve up to go and get the blood test taken (it is a requirement even if you know the results as Walter Reed requires a documented test result). I first went to the clinic on base as I thought it would be the easiest place to do it even though it would take longer to get the results back (no big deal though as we knew the outcome). Well, I showed up at the lab and after waiting for 30 min I was told that they do not do HCG blood pregnancy test at the lab on base and I would have to go the hospital down town, so there I went. I showed up at the hospital and signed in and waited for my turn to be called up to the counter so they can register me and then put me in the que for my blood draw. After about another 30 or so min. I was finally called up to be registered, or at least I thought, I walk up to the counter and handed them the order for the blood draw that I received from Walter Reed on transfer day, they looked at it for about 5 min and then told me that it did not have a diagnosis on it so they could not perform the test. I asked the obvious question "wouldn't you need a pregnancy test to make a diagnosis????" Seems logical to me but not to them. Then I had to explain our situation about having IVF and such done, did I mention that there is absolutely no privacy and there is a room full of people, like I wanted these strangers to know my personal business. I was very agitated at this point, sad and angry. I just wanted to get the test over so it could be done and I could go home and cry. Of course that did not happen I had to wait for them to call Walter Reed to confirm the requirements. After they had their paperwork squared away I finally got my test done and had to wait another hour for the results so I could fax them to Walter Reed. The good news is I got it done and was able to maintain my composure.

I don’t know where we go from here. This road is a much tougher journey than I could have ever imagined. It is a part of my life that I would love to put behind me and just look to the future. I am not exactly sure how to do that. I know I hurt for Chad just as he hurts for me. I think the pain of disappointment for each other is worse than the pain we feel for ourselves. It is hard for me not to feel responsible for Chad having to go through this. That is something that is hard for me to get past. Of course he says it is nonsense and he wouldn't want to be anywhere else. He is such a great guy.

Today was my first day back to work since Dec 14. I enjoyed my time off and hated having to go back to work today but it is probably the best thing for me right now. It got me out of my PJ's for the first time in a week and I think I actually made it an entire day w/out crying so I'm making progress :-). Of course the day is not over yet :-)

I know a lot of people wonder if we will try again and I can honestly say, I don’t know. Before we started this latest journey we thought we would do 3 cycles and then go from there but after this first one I am not sure. There is a huge financial and emotional investment and it is very difficult when everything is going just how you prayed for it to go and then in the end it doesn't. It makes us a little gun shy to want to go through all of those emotional highs and lows. Then the reality hits us that we could walk away from this down $24K and still not have a baby. Not trying to put a price tag on what it would mean to us to have a child but after spending $24K on treatments there may not be much left for adoption, if we decided to go down that road which I know has its own emotional highs and lows. So really there is no easy answer for us and one that I do not think we are ready to answer.

For those who are curious our friends that we met there did find success and we could not be happier for them. I will admit it was hard for me to hear at first but I can honestly say that I am so thrilled that they do not have to go through what Chad and I are experiencing right now. The hard thing is that she and I are the exact same age, we transferred the same quality embryos on the same day just a few minutes apart and hers worked and ours did not. And that is just the way it goes sometimes.

Thank you to everyone who has loved and supported and prayed for Chad and I through this journey we could not have done it without you and your prayers. We continue to give our thanks and praise to God for all the gifts he has given us and continue to hope that somewhere in our future is a precious baby for us to love.... Love to all Gena and Chad